first blog

 hi any and everyone~ 

this is my first post OFF social media with a a good amount of freedom of expression + being tucked away inside of a hidden digital space, only accessed by those curious enough with a juicy brain full of neuroplasticity. 
and it feels a lot better like this.

though i no longer worship the earth

i still love the creators creation.

behold, a tree hug. 

this was taken 2 years ago

feels as if it was only yesterday.

 i hated this photo then

grateful to love it now

& embrace the natural state

of myself.

! blog playlist ୨୧ ♫⋆

there is this lost art of taking the time & attention to not only listen to but read another's thoughts, it is quite vulnerable yet courageous to do so. to empathize. connect. understand. question.

 

to love. build. create. worship jesus, our one true king 

what else are we here to do?

"to deny god is to deny life."

what we're not going to do here is deny god, deny truth and deny truly living in our own truth.

i have done it long enough, mostly around others to keep them comfortable because i don't like the inevitable drama that comes with being close to people who won't face themselves. who put you down and gaslight who you are cause they hate who they are.

so you have to hide.

the subtle shift in energy because you expressed yourself

it says a lot that you have to snuff out your own light

to make others feel safe

all the while

you feel unsafe everywhere you go in the world

with no one around you to express your actual.. soul with.

i've had this deep attachment to my past and all those who did this to me, 

because i value people. i love them. i see them for who they are (sometimes..)_ and all the time, who they could be.

i root for them while they hope i rot

i want them to be them

but they can't stand when im not something im not

when i am me

so to be alone has been the answer in this hunt for a safe place to nestle myself inside of

as nowhere, is it safe, to be pure of intention

to be harmless with no ulterior motives

to be able to breathe without criticizing

to be able to talk without minimizing

the true value of who god created me to be that ive had to stuff inside

like a soft plushie, fluffed up 

bursting at the sewed seams

i hide and i hide

 i hide away